An open letter to myself;
Dear Taylor,
When I see the older photos of myself.. I tend to reflect on my past, typically I feel a wave of sadness and frustration. Due to the fact I am the only one that knew that the man in those photos was so good at hiding behind a smile of complex levels of depression and dysphoria that most people wouldn’t understand. Then I get scared to think about where I would be now if I had the old me still here?
When I see the newer photos of myself, I see the woman I am slowly becoming more and more everyday. Focusing on self-improvement, and learning to love myself has been incredibly helpful for me. I know it is all working because when I see updated pictures I know that behind those smiles is true happiness. While I have been conflicted in saying it publicly I have just been trusting Gods plan and purpose for my life.
I made a promise that I sort have broken- to not change who I am inside. I’d like to think that I used to be kind, empathetic, cheerful, helpful, and friendly to name a few. Overall, I didn’t really break the promise I just took who I am inside and amplified it. I remain the same inside for the most part it’s just all genuine and authentic these days.
That man in the photos - I barely recognize him anymore, let alone see him. But he survived for as long as he did so everything that was meant to be could be - my beautiful wife, our beautiful girls, a place to call our home. He would be proud of what I am doing and what I accomplished. But now it’s time for him to relax and watch and I’ll take it from here.
Love,
Taylor Jade : )
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