Myka’s Journey: Finding Happily Ever After

We all share one common goal: to be happy. While it may come naturally to some, for others, it requires a little more effort. In my last post, I mentioned feeling a calling to help others. This led me to consider how I could use my site to support and lift up others. I decided to open it up for people to share their stories. By asking them simple questions, I aim to learn about their experiences and the challenges they've faced or are facing. Adversity looks different for each of us on our journey to find our own “happily ever after,” but sharing how we navigate these hurdles can be enlightening and inspiring for others.

Mykas's Journey:

Finding Happily Ever After

Interview 01

I had the opportunity to chat with Myka Kennedy, a 40-year-old from Illinois. Myka has been transitioning since September 2022. She has been a teacher, counselor, and administrator, currently overseeing equity and college readiness in her district. I am beyond thankful for her for sitting down with me and discussing some of her story.

Myka’s journey began with therapy in September 2022 due to depression and gender dysphoria. At that time, she wanted her therapist to challenge her because she did not want to be trans. But, she jokingly claims to have lost that fight and finally came out to her wife on New Year's Eve 2022. She was reassured by her wife that they would figure everything out, and they are no longer just figuring it out but just doing it.

She officially marks the start of her transition when she began hormone replacement therapy on March 7th, 2023.

Myka is a parent of four adolescent children. Thinking of what felt right for telling her children, Myka and her wife waited until the end of the 2023 school year, just after her 40th birthday, to inform their children. They wanted to prevent any complications since her place of employment was also where their children attended school. A decision Myka tells me she would have done differently—she said;

“they deserved to know sooner, and it was never an issue of trusting but more about protecting them.”

It wouldn’t be until August of 2023 that Myka came out fully at work, and then on January 17, 2024, Myka made her next big step, marking a significant milestone in the transition process. She had her name legalized, and gender markers corrected on necessary legal documents.

Taylor: "What was the process like for you in Illinois to have your name changed?"

Myka: “I submitted all my paperwork for a name change, and my court date was set for three months later. I requested a waiver for the publication requirement in the newspaper due to safety concerns for myself and my family. The judge approved the waiver and decided to process my name change on the spot during the hearing on January 17, even though it wasn't scheduled until April 1. I was surprised and overwhelmed with emotion, crying in the courtroom. The entire name change process took only 10 days, and I was able to update my driver's license, Social Security, and mail for my birth certificate the following weekend. Overall, the process in Illinois was surprisingly easy, and I'm grateful for that.”

Taylor: “How has the past year overall affected your relationships outside of your household."

Myka: “I am lucky that my wife has been incredibly supportive. My kids, mom, brother, family, and friends have been supportive too. At work, when I came out, they changed the name on my door that day. When I legally changed my name, they got me a balloon, a card, and a HER|SHE|Y bar."

Taylor: "Have any of your goals changed throughout your transition and do you have any other future goals?”

Myka: My goals have not changed too much as I plan to start my doctorate in policy studies in the fall. I hope that with that degree, I can move into non-profit and advocacy work to help students. Helping students is what I do, as I have been in education for 18 years. I was afraid that working in education would be challenging, but it has been incredibly rewarding as I continue to transition.”

Taylor: How has your transition been overall?

Myka: “My transition has been surprisingly smooth. Work has been fantastic, and my family has been incredibly supportive. When I told my mom, she had to grab onto something at first, like she was trying to process it all. But then, just like that, she was fine. She even joked, 'Can we go shopping now?' I've been really lucky with how everything has gone. I haven't faced much trouble with my transition or coming out. Of course, there have been other challenges in my life, but in terms of transitioning, I've been really fortunate.”

So, I asked Myka a couple of questions about what specific challenges she has faced, hoping to learn more about her journey and how we can support her, as well as how you, the reader, can learn to support others facing similar challenges.

Taylor: Can you share a bit about the adversity or what was difficult in your journey that you faced?

Myka: “My specific adversity has been mental health. I have had brief battles with depression previously, but I have been able to work through them with minimal assistance. This year has been challenging. As I have started hormones, old traumas and experiences have started to pop back up and are now being processed differently, as Myka. I feel like I don’t have the strength to hide them away like I did before. Reliving some of these experiences has been difficult.”

Taylor:" How have the challenges with your mental health affected your life?"

Myka: “My mental health has affected my life by making it difficult to be a good partner and father. I put a lot of effort into my work, and it is a place that also allows me to escape into something else. It also helps that the people I work with have been incredibly supportive and loving. Typically, when I come home, I am emotionally drained and I am not the best partner and father. I love my wife and kids, and they love me and are incredibly supportive, and I need to take care of myself for them.”

Taylor: How did or do you know something is feeling “off”? How quickly did you address it?

Myka: “I have continued to see my therapist even after coming out. We were able to expand our appointments to where we were having one a month, however, rather quickly, things started to spiral and we increased my appointments. I now am going twice a week as we work through the support. It is hard to identify when something felt off, it was just a change over time. My medical team feels that it is just a “temporary depression,” but we are taking adequate steps to keep me safe.

Taylor: "What specific strategies or resources help you cope during those challenging times?"

Myka: “Working with my team, I am on antidepressants, and I also have a safety plan to follow during challenging times. This has a resource team I can call when I feel like I might need to be distracted. Strategies for keeping my mind busy such as playing my guitars, doing work, or going for a walk/run.

It also has emergency numbers and locations if necessary. I keep this with me at all times. I appreciate my family, friends, and team who love me and care about me, I hate needing a bit of extra effort right now, but I hope to return the favor in some way to all of them in the future.”

Taylor: Do you have a support system? What does that look like?

Myka: “I do have a support system. My wife has been incredibly supportive. Additionally, my team up at work has been great if I need to take an hour of sick time to go to an appointment and just check up on me. I also have a list of people I can call if I just need to be distracted. I almost forgot, my doctor and therapist. They have been incredibly vital in helping me navigate this and get some antidepressants that are helping me reset.”

Taylor: "How has the support you’ve received influenced your mental health?"

Myka: “I hate that I need the support. Once I got over that and focused on why this support team exists, it has been incredibly helpful. I don’t want others to feel like they have to invest more time into me. I hate feeling like a “burden.” I try to handle things on my own, but this got to a point where I needed help. It was great to be able to call on my friends to get the support I needed at this time.”

Despite the challenges she faced, Myka's perspective on life and her transition has remained positive . These challenges only reinforced her belief in the preciousness of life and the importance of cherishing every moment. Her commitment to giving more love to her family speaks volumes about her character and her desire to be the best version of herself for those around her.

These experiences have deeply shaped Myka, leading her to prioritize her family and her health above all else. While this shift in focus has been challenging, requiring her to actively think about how to give the most of herself to others, she views it as a necessary step in her journey of self-discovery and growth. She hopes that this process will continue to reset her brain and allow her to move forward with renewed purpose and clarity.

When asked about staying motivated and positive, Myka's advice is both heartfelt and practical. She emphasizes the fact

"it's okay not to be okay "

She also, encourages others to ask for help when needed. She bravely shares her initial shame in needing help, highlighting the stigma often associated with mental health struggles.

However, she firmly believes that seeking help is essential for growth and that depression, like any other illness, requires proper treatment and care.

Myka expresses profound gratitude to her family, friends, and coworkers, acknowledging their unwavering support throughout her journey. She emphasizes that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a testament to the love and care that surrounds us.

Myka has one clear message to others:

" you are not alone, & you deserve to be here, loved, & supported. "

Myka's journey serves as a beacon of hope and inspiration, reminding us all of the strength found in vulnerability and the beauty of embracing our true selves.

Mental health challenges do not discriminate. We should check in with friends, family, and even strangers from time to time and just ask how they are doing. We never know what someone is going through, and just that little bit of kindness and positivity can go a long way. I am grateful for the time Myka has given to share her story with me, and I am happy to have gained her as a new friend, to be included in her journey and a part of her support system.

If you want to follow more of Myka's story as it continues to unfold, you can find her on Instagram below:

click here

@m.kennedy83

No matter where at in life you are, remember- “reach out and find your happily ever after.”

If you are interested- in discussing your story you can reach me at:

instagram

__Taylor.Jade

Taylor.Cummings125@gmail.com

-Taylor Jade